to my mother: of my sister


I saw her break you heart,
And she did it casually.
Then you fell apart
Right there in front of me.

If I had words, Iíd speak them
However brief.
Iíd say anything to end this
Sea of churning grief.

But I tread quietly, lest I must admit
Agreement to her vile words
And show myself
A glaring hypocrite.

I love you: you know it
And I know you love me to.
But I, no we, see you differently
Than you see you.

To us you are the Steamer
Which glides unerring through the sea.
While other ships are dashed in pieces
You dock, unfailingly.

To us, you are transformed a swan,
Flying up, and out and free.
Unwilling to be an ugly duckling
For all Eternity.

With indomitable spirit you face each Darkness
And live to tell the tale.
To anyone who hasnít seen your scars
Your stories are beyond the pale.

And yet. Here you are
Shattered on the floor.
Trying to pick up the pieces
And put them back as before.

My hypocrisy runs deep;
I wish I could explain.
I empathize with you
Iíve no wish to exacerbate your pain.

But I agree with some of the things she said
And I understand her view.
I even understand her perverse
Desire to hurt you.

I tell myself had it been me
I would have been fair.
I would have been firm but spoken gently
And handled you with care.

Untrue. My mind remembers
And my memory wonít repent.
Countless times Iíve wielded words
As rapiers in brutal argument.

And unlike your guard against me
My thrust was true.
You did not even try to stop me
From destroying you.

O my mother! When we cross swords
Canít you see?
A decorated General
Is squaring off from me.

What do you see when you look at me
A little girl to proud to bend?
You sheathe your Slayer as I come
And refuse to defend.

O mother, my mother
This is not the end I seek.
As you die, I realize
Your love has made you weak.

And if exploitation of your love
Is the only way Iíll win:
Brand me loser
For I will not tread this path again.

O mother of my sister
She believes sheís right, her heart is true.
She does not yet understand
That your love is thwarting you.

a division of mack united, inc.